Yashara's Crazy World

Happy 4th to all of you. How as mine? Well... it started out fine.. nice and quiet and then I looked outside... bleh.. gray and gloomy, but I was determined to face the day with the plans we'd made previously in the week. We had a cookout with grykon 's parents, his two brothers, and our nephews and sister-in-law. Too much food is all I can say.....I cut up some squash and zucchini and fried those as one of the dishes. Brats, Burgers, Ribs, fresh veggies like cucumbers, peppers. Corn on the cob, baked beans, baked potatoes, mac and cheese, and yes.. oh yes.. .she did it.. Mom made chocolate torte... by the time it got around to dessert I was so stuffed I could barely move and I was eyeing the torte thinking.. you can't possibly and I did anyway and now I'm definitely not in the ability to move other than my fingers and I am soooo sleepy I want a nap..

But yes.... good food and family and I faced it all pretty well.. it was nice to be around them but after a while I get super sound sensitive and I need the quite of my little cubby hole, so I am back here, trying to get the energy to move on to the next room and just flop on the bed and go to sleep... with the rain outside going on it's not making matters any easier about staying awake.....I am impressed with myself.. I managed another outing outside the house not much worse for the wear...maybe someday I can face more than just a few hours and be the way I used to be... the person I miss.

I was hoping today would be a lot nicer than it currently is. Looking out the window it's gray and gloomy.... I'd really like some nice weather soon, not too hot and humid please, cause I would LIKE to breath too.

Surprisingly I want to do something different today....not sure what prompted this feeling...but it's a change and I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, it's been too long since I actually wanted to do ANYTHING. Looking around me I see a lot that I've put to the side and not worked on in ages, one of them being the classes I was taking....granted you go at your own pace, but I should, really SHOULD work on those.

I've been playing around with a program on my computer that allows you to make videos.....it's frustrated me a lot but I'd really like to figure that thing out.... oh well, to do something more constructive.... I better get started....

Recently I've made friends with a young lady, 20 years of age. She's very outgoing, intelligent and lots of fun to talk to. She's also a Christian. Yes, I know many have their own views/ideas of what/whom God is. I respect everyone's choice/decision on this. However this girl's beliefs and my own are quite similar. ((NOTE: I really do not want to get into any religious discussion and I will REFUSE to discuss/debate this subject with anyone.)) I have my beliefs as does everyone else, respect them as I respect yours.

Back to my story: I met this young lady through an MMO I was playing a while back (Lord of the Rings Online) and she and I became good friends. At the time she was dating someone she'd met via internet through another online MMO who was also playing the same game. Anyway, the guy she was with seemed okay but he would do things or say things that would set off alarm bells inside my head. She would want to group up with all her friends and have a good time while he wanted nothing to do with them, basically would not talk with anyone unless he was directly spoken to then it was one or two word responses. And if she wanted to hang out with everyone he'd get sullen, moody and downright jealous of the attention she would get and become passive agressive. I kept my mouth shut but after a particularly wierd night with him in group I finally talked to her about it. She and I shared similar views on many things, not only about the game, but people in general and we also had a lot of common interests. Some of which I found surprising because not many young ladies shared my taste in music/movies/books. I label myself eclectic, some would say I'm downright eccentric and nuts. Anyway after a while of being friends via LOTRO, I invited them both to come join grykon and I in the other game he and I played together. After the second day on trial they both were addicted and hooked and both subscribed. The game became so much more important to her boyfriend to the point he started to neglect her. His "True" colors were starting to shine through and slamming her in the face with force. She couldn't handle what she was seeing so sought out the advice of myself and grykon.

It caused a lot of drama in the guild we were all a part of and finally I had to put out the questions for her to answer truthfully to herself. This young lady wanted to marry and have a family and eventually become a missionary for her church. I told her to take a hard look. This young man was not a Christian, he didn't believe as she did and he would never support her choice to become a missionary should they marry. I also told her to take a good look at his current behavior and how he was treating her. It was obvious he was not going to "change" and she could not HOPE to change him. So I asked her, "Do you want to live with this for the rest of your life, since you don't believe in divorce, this is what you will be stuck with permanently, is that what you want for the rest of your life?" She immediately said, "No". I said, then I think you know the answer to all your questions and what you need to do. Eventually after much agonizing and stress for her, she ended the relationship with him. She is much happier now though she still grieves for that relationship that ended. She is more carefree and able to have the fun she wants. Anyway, why I'm writing today is... I'm boggled.

This young lady's mother has what I consider the "PERFECT" daughter, but does not seem satisfied. This young lady does not smoke, drink, do drugs nor does she run wild. She works and goes to college and is very responsible in all aspects where many others her age are not. Finances for instance, she does not power spend or splurge outrageously and she's cautious and pays her bills on time. I was flabbergasted when talking to her one night to find her paying her bills online and we discussed how much things were costing. She is practical when it comes to this. She knows what she can and cannot afford and does not just buy because she has a credit card. Believe me, I was floored.

Anyway, this grils mother cannot stand that she spends time playing an MMO. This girl will go to school, work, come home do her homework then relax by playing an MMO. If her friends ask her out she will go out. This MMO does NOT rule her life. Her mother complained that she wasn't spending time with her. She told me one night she was going to go watch movies with her mother and I said, That's great, yes, go spend time with her. She returned some 15 minutes later to say her mother said she was busy. This young lady went through the trouble of buying movies and setting up "family" night with her parents only to get the brush off and then they want to complain she plays the MMO too much.. O.O I just don't understand! They have what every parent dreams of in their daughters. A responsible, intelligent, GOOD daughter that does not drink, do drugs, hang out with the wrong crowd and TRIES to include them in her life and they are not satisfied!!! OMG, what is wrong with these people?!

Then tonight she tells me her mother called her to the other room to show her something. What was it? Her mother had signed her daughter up on a Christian singles website.... tell me people... what kind of mother does these things? I mean........omg...I just don't know what to say to this, but if this had been my mother I'd of said, "Mom, I love you, but butt out... I can decide, choose for myself and when I'm ready for a relationship, I will find it on my own." I am just flabbergasted by these people.........

Anyway, tonight's episode with her mother has prompted her to start looking for a place of her own... I just don't know what I can tell her to make things better....most likely nothing, but I told her she is going to be 21 soon..... and I felt she was mature enough to decide for herself what she wanted to do.

Anyone else know people like this?! Because ..... it just boggles me.

Well, having been quiet all day he finally makes noise to where we can locate him.....we are both sitting at our computers talking to each other and someone via Skype when suddenly I hear this rustle and I tell grykon that I hear him. He tells me I'm hearing things, and I keep insisting he's still in the house that I can hear him. So we proceed to tell our friend on Skype the story who laughed uproariously over the incident when again I hear a rustle behind me and I looked at grykon with a smug look and said, "See, did you hear that?"

He gets up and goes behind me where I have two totes of books that I can't put on shelves yet.. (need more bookshelves) and shakes one and all the sudden this brown/gray furry creature jumps out lands beside me near the window and I screech to which our friend on Skype is laughing and asking what's going on and he chases the squirrel, along with Barak of course into the kitchen where he promptly hides again and he rushes back to open the door and asks me to block any path to the room he just ran from and come to find out the pipes to the dishwasher when they were ran there's a hole in the floor probably just big enough for him to squeeze through and we figure that's where he's gone.. but it's late now and I hear rustling in the kitchen....so..he may be back....and it's raining outside too...

Maybe he's looking for somewhere dry to sleep? *shrugs*

Imagine lying in bed, trying to get some sleep... where sleep is such a precious thing to be getting when you have chronic insomnia. And then suddenly your world is filled with crashing sounds, things falling and you are assuming it's your dog, trying to get your attention to go outside.

Well, that's what happened to grykon and I this fine morning at 7 a.m. The morning dawned with these sounds around us and I'm telling him that Barak needs to go outside, he's about to tear the house up, when what does he find when he gets up? Yes, Barak is all over the house, but he's all over the house following? Chasing? of all things a SQUIRREL that managed to somehow get INSIDE our house! So he opens the door to let Barak out and in hopes of chasing the squirrel outside and suddenly the squirrel is nowhere to be seen or heard. Last place he was seen was by my desk by the window... I open the blinds.. the window is open but no squirrel to be seen around my desk anywhere...

Where has he gone? We don't know.... for now he's suspiciously quiet... probably planning another attack....

Yes, this is mother's day and I'm a touch sad, but I still am thankful for the mother I do have left...

In words to my mother.... I miss you... and you will never be forgotten. Thank you for all you did for me for the time you were here. I just wish I'd had more time to prove my love for you..

Happy Mother's Day to all my LJ friends....those with children and those who do not have children...for someday you will probably be a mother...Enjoy this day to the fullest.

As Mother’s Day draws closer I find myself sitting and reflecting over the years of my life. I can remember myself as a young teenage girl dreaming the dreams of my future. I wanted to find that special person that would love me as I was, for who I was and as much as I would love him in return. God blessed me with this miracle when he placed Tim into my life. What I didn’t realize at the time was he had blessed me even more by giving me a whole new family.

As a young lady of eighteen years of age I lost my own mother to cancer. Mother’s Day became a painful holiday for me after this. For on that day I was reminded of my loss. Other holidays became painful as well and I often dreaded each one because they would have me sad and depressed. God had not blessed me with the children I had so dearly wanted and I thought for some reason He did not see me as fit to have a child. But looking at my life now, I can see he did give me the family I wanted and a very special lady that filled the sore spot in my heart for my mother.

If you are a child with a mother, please remember her, honor her, hold her close and love her. For once she is gone you will dearly miss her and regret the times you never got to tell her that you loved her, or embraced her with the love you had for her in your heart.

God blessed me with my husband and a whole new family. And I’d like to tell the sweet and wonderful lady who is my husband’s mother just what she means to me. How much I love her and treasure her. For when I came to this family, she opened her heart and her arms and accepted me for the person I was and loved me. There is no greater treasure than a mother’s love. It is priceless. I’m blessed indeed by having this wonderful lady in my life and I love her. I thank God for giving me the blessing of her presence, her gentle loving nature in my life. I honor her and treasure her, for God saw the wounds of my heart and gave me yet another mother to love. I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and for accepting me into your family. I’ve been truly given a wonderful miracle in you.

It sucks when you read and find that suddenly someone you always thought of as a friend doesn't really think of you as a friend anymore....and you are left out... once again.

A male friend of mine sent me this joke:

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.


On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.


The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.


The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.


"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


Think he's trying to tell me something?....O.o

Today is the day I was born ....err.. many years ago... let's just leave it at that....

grykon 's mom made me a birthday dinner and all the goodies... grykon gave me a birthday card... well.. it was an anniversary card actually that said, Happy Anniversary of your 29th. His mother and father gave me a nice card with a signed check... (ponders what to spend the money on). Since I've not been out of the house in so long... it might behoove me to get a haircut....

In the end.. I just want to say.. I hate getting old.

Phone rings....I let answering machine pick up....don't answer or even interrupt unless I know the person calling. Well shock me to my toes that I do recognize the voice... hadn't heard it in 4 years, but yes I recognize the voice... it's my sister....and all her subtle ways of trying to not appear like she was wanting information on our monetary status I still sensed that was the main reason she'd called.. she wanted money....

Yes.. the niceities of how are you crossed the line when I could really sense her urgency to find out and get off the phone was more than abundantly clear. My siblings only call for two reasons.. One they are in trouble and hoping I'll bail them out in some way, Two, still in trouble and wanting money. When I made it clear none was to be had from us, she quickly found a reason to say goodbye with the promise to write....

How much you want to bet it'll be another 4 years before I hear anything from her again?

Yeah, I'm a live, and I know it's been close to a year that I've posted anything. I've thought about this journal a lot and most of the time when i go to write I back out. Not sure why but I do. Sad that what has spurred me to write now is the fact it's my deviate family. Yes they are all deviates, low life scum that they are. They take joy in making people miserable and joy making me cry.

What has led up to me even posting now is that my grandmother passed away. It's been a horrible six years watching her dwindle away in the nursing home, not remembering who I am or most of who would visit. When it came time to inform them of her death, my aunt and I both searched through phone numbers we both had and spent hours calling and looking... it was just luck that I had the number for where my brother's wife worked. I informed her boss of why I was calling and asked if they would have her call me, leaving them my phone number. Well, my niece called..I told her the news. What did I expect in reaction? Well.. grief... but what I got was..."WHO?" the child had forgotten her great grandmother who cared for her, spent time with her and even spoiled her rotten at times. I was stunned, shocked and hurt all at once, because I was present at some of the times my grandmother would do these things. Did my brother or his wife bother to return my call? No... and neither did he show up for the funeral. Well, I didn't show up either, but my aunt understood why. Grykon and I both are not well and our finances are strained as it is, it was not even in the budget to consider a trip. So, with the help of my sainted mother-in-law (yes this woman is a saint and I will continue to believe that till I myself pass from this world) we sent flowers instead. Spoke for hours with my aunt on the phone trying to calm her and give her support from 500 miles away.

Sad that those that lived at most 45 minutes away could not even take the time to visit my grandmother when she was alive and even sadder to not attend her funeral services when she passed away. What is going on within this world where people do not care for anyone at all? And people wonder why I hide behind the walls of my house....

No matter how long I live, (which at this point is probably not long considering many factors in my life) it will always amaze me that people say one thing and do another. Well, maybe not amaze, but totally flabbergast me. Whatever happened to keeping your word or doing exactly what you say you will do? Why is it so hard to do that for so many? What happened to people being kind and having a respect for others and their feelings? When and why did this become a (ME, ME, ME, ME) world only?

In my logical mind and intelligence (limited as it may be) I know I have people in my life that say they care, they love me and care about what happens to me. But what do you do when you CAN'T FEEL that inside? What do you do when you feel alone and un-wanted and can't find or see a path to follow anymore? What do you do when each day seems bleak and you feel.... empty..but there's a deep ache and hurt inside? When even going to talk to someone about all you have going on inside seems totally hopeless and useless? When you fear the medication they give will only keep you zombified and useless in a world that has so much going on?

My world is chaos and I'm lost in it..... so very lost.....

yes, I'm still here.... still lost in this fog I have been in for a while... just not up to doing much here or elsewhere....but every once in a while I feel the need to let people know I still live.....

I miss being able to write effectively.... it doesn't come easy anymore....it feels locked up and I can't find the key to unlock it......I feel lost....

Yes, it has been some time since I've posted, a very long time actually. During this time I've lived my life pretty much like a hermit. Stayed glued to a game and trying to sort things out in my head which believe me hasn't really worked much because my head is always full of so much.

The past year things have been a little of this and a little of that. And if it hadn't been for the loving support of friends and my wonderful husband I'd of probably just dug a hole and buried myself. Things have been tough. I've gone through a lot of mood changes and a lot of things just haven't been right for me for a long time. I thought perhaps just closing myself off from everything I'd eventually figure out what I needed to do. It hasn't helped, and really hasn't solved anything.

Every day I get encouraging letters from people that have visited my website and read my poetry. It's been so long since I've written a poem. The creative flow within me has died I think. I've got two books that I've started and they haven't gotten very far, 2 chapters maybe and that's it.. I'm again blank. Not sure what has caused all the unsettled mess within me, and maybe I can eventually find out what it is, but for now, I am alive, I'm here, just not always with my journal. My life is topsy turvy at best and I'm trying very hard to find a balance.. I hope I do soon, for I miss the old me.

Grumju walked softly into the cave and saw SummerStorm sitting before the fire pit preparing the morning meal and took notice that she had also included him in her preparations and he smiled softly to himself, wondering how long she had known he was there.  Shaking his head slightly as he looked at her, he knew she had probably known for a while, for she was always quick in picking up the sounds about her with ease.  Sitting across from her he smiled and softly spoke, “Good morning, SummerStorm, how fare thee this day?”

SummerStorm looked up into Grumju’s weathered face and smiled softly herself and spoke just as softly, “Good morning to thee Elder Grumju, I fare well this day though my sleep was not restful, how fare thee?”

This jousting with words had become a habit with them, each trying to find out how the other felt before actually attacking the situation at hand.  Grumju realized it wouldn’t end unless he approached the matter at hand himself, for she would joust and dodge everything he asked, till he presented the matter that needed both their attention.  He sighed softly and looked across the fire pit into SummerStorm’s eyes, eyes so achingly beautiful in the aqua coloring, but shadowed with tension and worry. 

“SummerStorm, I had hoped not to have to come to you with the news that has been brought to my attention.  I had in fact hoped it would wait till you had ended this vigil you are on.  But it remains that I have to tell you for the dangers to the lands beyond this forest is great.  The Lich King has started his undead hordes’ march across the land, and is tainting and destroying anything in their path.  Your aid will be needed in turning them back, to deter their course across our lands.  They will try to take as many of our people as they can as well, to turn them to their side.  We must not allow this abomination to happen, we must with all our strength and magicks stop this from happening.  I know you have a purpose for your vigil, but I think also that purpose will be answered once we meet upon the battlefields to deter the Lich King’s progress across our lands.  I feel whatever it is you are seeking answers for will be answered there.  Though they may not be the answers you want, they will be answered.”

Grumju fell silent as he searched her face and eyes for a reaction to his words.  He could see them cloud over in thought and he could see the many emotions flickering across her smooth face.  He knew she was weighing his words carefully and also placing them in context with the dreams she had experienced during the night.  He hoped she would see that she was needed and that she would end her vigil here, and come with him, but for the moment it seemed he would have to wait for her to respond.  He noticed her hands continuing to work and place food before them, and her sitting his tea close to his side as her thoughts caused the many emotions flooding in her to flicker across her face, a virtual mirror to the turmoil she was experiencing inside.  He felt an ache deep in his soul, for he knew the answers she would find, would not be the ones she had hoped for.  Because of that, he ached for the pain she would experience, for he would not be able to stop it from happening, no matter how hard he might try.

Grumju had been up long before SummerStorm arose from her pallet, and he was aware of her tormented dreams, for her soft cries in the darkness had alerted him.  He was saddened that she was so tormented, but there was nothing he could do.  The events to come had to play out as was meant to be.  SummerStorm was about to find out things that she did not wish to find out and she would have to make several decisions that would change the course of her life as it was.  Grumju only hoped she was ready to step upon the path that the events coming to be would take her.  With a soft sigh, he put away his own bedding and prepared himself for what was about to come in his telling SummerStorm of the events about to take place in these lands and why her help was necessary.

SummerStorm prepared a fire in the fire pit and went about making breakfast for herself and prepared a cup for tea.  She was thoughtfully chewing on her bottom lip, trying to sort out the dream she had been given while she slept and felt a chill enter her body and shivered.  It seemed the enemy was close today and she had a prevailing sense that her life was about to change drastically and all her hopes and dreams of the past would be altered in such a way that she would be left with hard decisions to make.  Unwillingly her mind went to the thoughts of her love, and wondered what decisions she would have to make there.  She was sure that some of her decisions would involve him.  Sighing, she was not sure she could face making any life changing situations involving him.  Somehow she felt she would be left no choice in any decision she had to make, she would have to choose the right path, no matter how hard that might be.

As she carefully prepared her tea she heard a noise outside the cave entrance and tensed slightly, listening carefully to the sound, and smiled to herself as she recognized the sound of Grumju’s footsteps.  She had learned to identify how he walked from the many lessons her druidic training had provided in learning to identify certain sounds that fell upon her sharp ears.  It was one of the sounds she had learned to identify quickly.  Chuckling softly to herself she took another cup and prepared it for tea as well.  This was something she had done many times for Grumju on their many trips into the forest to further her training.  It wasn’t till she had prepared the cup with the leaves for tea that it occurred to her that perhaps his being here meant something had happened in the lands beyond this peaceful place and that what he was going to tell her was probably the one thing she did not want to hear.  Bracing, she prepared herself for it, and inside she felt the turmoil begin, once again.

SummerStorm’s sleep was filled with a restlessness she could not describe or had felt before; the images burning in her dream left her feeling helpless, and consumed her being with a sense of fear that was stifling.  She saw hordes of undead sweeping across the lands she called home, with floating entities  accompanying them, they glowed a sickly green, and brought with them a storm of green mist and lightning, and tainted every living thing it touched.  She saw in a field many had gathered to fight against the onslaught of these evil beings, many of them friends and many she had fought with before against the very evil that was spread before them.  In her dream she saw Grumju and her love there, her heart racing she was trying to reach him.  She wanted to be by his side should things get to the point where they could not defeat the onslaught of evil coming towards them.  She looked to her left and saw there Shakir Kafele, and his niece Silver who was healing and dispelling the evil taints that attacked the people fighting, she felt a sense of foreboding as she looked at the many people that were there to turn this evil from the lands. 

She looked back to her right at her love, and saw him fighting an entity known as a blight specter, she ran to aid him, just as she saw a wraith approach and attack with full force at her love, her throat dry and her scream caught somewhere deep inside, she felt herself pull in her will to bring forth the Dark Cyclone to save those around them, just as Grumju placed his hand on her arm and shaking his head at her to hold back and spoke softly to her, “Not yet Summer, we must wait till they are clumped together and closer, so that you can unleash the cyclone at full fury.”  Swallowing hard, she nodded and waited tensed and ready for action, to await her teacher’s word that it was time to unleash the fury of the Cyclone upon the evil hordes approaching.  She again glanced at her love, and quickly threw healing spells in his direction to keep him from falling, and just as she turned to look at the hordes approaching an evil being entered the field, one glowing brightly with hungry power from the area where eyes should have been, and she cringed deep inside, knowing this to be the one enemy that needed to be wiped from the face of these lands. 

Just as she got the go ahead from Grumju to unleash the fury of the Cyclone, she awakened sitting straight up on her pallet, her breath coming fast in hard gasps.  Wiping her brow with her forearm she peered at the walls of the cave around her and saw them glowing so brightly it was as if the sun had risen inside the cave itself.  Shuddering hard, she stood and pulled on her leathers, very sure now she could not fall asleep again if she tried, and knowing that dawn was approaching soon.  As she put away her pallet, she felt a deep foreboding in her soul.  Something was going to happen this day and she knew it and felt it deep within.  She was not sure she was ready for it, but she would do her best to be prepared.

SummerStorm lay quietly on her pallet, sleep somehow eluding her.  She was concentrating hard on the night sounds around her, listening, for she felt that something was about to happen.  Perhaps something would be revealed to her this night, a prayer maybe answered.  She felt certain anticipation within her, something she could not explain, yet felt deep within her very being.  Turning to her right side, to face the opening of the cave, she stared intently into the darkness, waiting, almost holding her breath.  As she lay there listening, her meditations came to mind, the prayers she spoke, asking to see where her love might be.  Perhaps that would be revealed to her now, for she so desperately wanted him at her side so they could follow the paths they had chosen together, and fulfill the words of spoken promise to each other from the beginning, but somehow she felt her enemy was involved in his late arrival.  An enemy that had such greed and hunger for power and control burning brightly in their soul, so brightly it could almost be viewed in the eyes when they were turned upon you.  There was an underlying sense of evil in this one, she knew it almost immediately when her enemy sensed she did not need anything from them, she was after all a self sufficient person and had always taken care of herself from the time she was young and small, sitting at the feet of the elders of her clan.

SummerStorm smiled to herself as she remembered the day she took the name she was known by.  It was just before entering the druidic training she had sought to learn from Grumju, and a fitting name it had come to be, especially with harnessing the power for Dark Cyclone.  SummerStorm would never reveal her true name, for her people believed if someone knew your true given name outside of your clan, they had the power to control you to their will, to their liking, so her true named had been forever locked away in a secret deep inside her.  Her love did not even know her true given name, for it was a secret to her and her family only.  At the memory of her family she winced as a flash of grief tore at her heart.  Her family, they were gone now, mere shadows of what they had once been.  They’d given their lives to protect this land and were gone now.  They had not been blessed with the power that was bestowed on most in this land now.  It was the power of being “gifted” which meant they could be resurrected to life again, through the means of a spell.  They could live again, where her parents could not.  Sighing softly, she turned onto her back again, trying to push the memories to back of her mind, and continue to listen to the sounds of the night, hoping it would reveal to her what she needed to know.

Sometime in the morning hours, exhausted from the ramblings in her mind and her inevitable tossing and turning and tensing from every sound heard, her eyes grew heavy and her body succumbed to the sleep stealing over her finally, yet she was not aware of the eyes that peered upon her inert form as she drifted off into the land of sleep and into dreams that were more disturbing than the ramblings of her awake mind. 

Perhaps she was not alerted for the eyes that watched that night were the eyes of Grumju, who was troubled by what was happening to SummerStorm.  He had grown to love the young elven lass while she was studying the druidic arts.  Her mind was quick and absorbed the knowledge he put before her quickly.  He was troubled by her distress and pain, and was even more troubled that he had to tell her news of the approaching dangers to the land.  She would have to prepare for them, and she would have to eventually leave this place of her vigil, to help hold back the forces of evil invading the lands that threatened the very existence of everyone in this world.  With a soft sigh, he turns away and goes to a small cleared area by the right of the cave.  For now, he would let her sleep, and then approach what he had to tell her on the dawn of the morrow.

Hugging herself close with her arms, she looked about the forest listening intently to the sounds as she moved towards the cave close by, a place that was hidden by the natural foliage of the forest and could not be found unless actively searching for it or you knew of its existence.  It was a cave used long ago by other druidic students, a place where they could come and be at one with the nature surrounding them and learn the ways of the forest and the animals that lived therein.  This was a place where many studied the magicks of nature and how to use the natural elements to aid them in the protection of the land around them.

Upon entering the cave, she looked around peering intently into the darkening cave to make sure no one had by chance wandered in when she was away.  The walls glowed magically with the druidic runes carved into them, and she felt a warmth deep inside, as if something was protecting her here.  Smiling as a memory crossed her mind she remembered how hard she had studied under Grumju, and her last lesson sent her to the tower in the west, known as the Nature Tower.  Here she would undergo the trials to learn how to harness the power of a cyclone, once learned it would become a knowledge she could call for at will when needed, but it would be a power that could not be called upon again for a period of time once used.  Its nature and power was a destructive force and only to be used when absolutely necessary.  It was a spell meant to destroy those that would cause harm to her or her family and the land around her that she protected.  It left its mark deeply carved into the earth once used, proving its destructive nature; a power to be wielded wisely and used sparingly.  A smile played across her lips as she remembered her first use of the power known as Dark Cyclone.  It had ripped into her enemies with such force and power that it felled them almost instantly.  It had saved her and her friends from certain peril.  She also remembered thinking her love would be proud of her achievements and accomplishments in her chosen path and in the power she had gained from her diligent studies. 

Removing her cloak, she went through her ritual of cleansing herself from head to toe; then donned a flowing robe which glimmered with power from the druidic runes stitched carefully along the sleeves, cuffs, cowl and hemline.  Lighting incense and candles she stepped back and faced the wall where the druidic altar was positioned and raised her hands upwards and began a whispering prayer and chant, her body shivering as she fought to quell the coldness that had invaded her earlier. 

Her mind centering on her purpose, she sent forth the prayers that her love would return safely, to her and the land they would call home.  She sought for answers to where he might be during her deep meditation and prayer, but as usual her mind encountered a barrier, as if she was not supposed to see what lay there.  Frustrated with once again being kept at bay, the knowledge of where he might be, she ended her prayers with thanks of at least being heard once again and for her life.  Turning slowly away from the altar she extinguished the candles and the incense and prepared her pallet on the floor of the cave, hoping to find refuge in the sleep her body needed to continue another day, and to continue her work and her vigil of waiting for him to return to her side.